Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Post IVF feelings (part 1)

I'm feeling much better today. I have actually been able to process the failed IVF over a few days so that has helped. I knew that it didn't work on Sunday morning when I started spotting. I have no idea how I was able to make it through the whole day of church and two family events, but I somehow saved my ugly melt down for when we got home that night. The moment when you know in your heart that you're not pregnant is the most agonizing part of the whole cycle. For me, the realization typically comes via a reddish brown spot on a piece of toilet paper, or the distinct cramp that I only get when my period is on it's way. The 5 second transition from hopeful excitement to absolute disappointment is like a sudden fist in the gut. So yeah, that ugly moment was Sunday for me. Monday afternoon was our bloodwork appointment, and my wonderful coordinator called me at 10pm that night to give me the results so I wouldn't have to wait till Tuesday morning. After we hung up with her, we just sat on the couch for a while not saying anything. We climbed into bed, shut the lights off, and as if on queue, lost it again. Twice actually. There was a little break in between. lol. We took yesterday off work to rest, have our follow up appointment with Dr. Q, and get our bearing on life again. 

doh, I gotta run, but I'm not done! lol. I guess this is going to have to be a two-part post. I'll finish up tomorrow. ::blows kiss::

8 comments:

  1. I'm in tears here. I know that feeling and you don't deserve it. But remember that it's okay to lose it every once in a while. Let your tears come (let's be honest, there's no stopping them anyway). I'm praying very hard for you and hope for good things soon!

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  2. I'm sorry - still praying.

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  3. I'm so sorry, we will continue to pray for you both.

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  4. Oh man, I dont know how you made it through church. You're such a trooper :) I don't know how you do it my friend, but it's inspiring for sure. Love you!

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  5. Keep praying my friend.

    Both of you are so sweet each other keep it strong your relationship.

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  6. I am so sorry, Denay and Ryan. I will continue in my prayers for the Lord to continue to use you to glorify Him, in whatever way that may be. You guys have been an awesome example of waiting on the Lord for His timing and purpose. My love to you both. Ana

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  7. I am so sorry Denay and Ryan! You don't know me but I came across your website while watching YouTube videos about IVF. My husband and I are also diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility. We have had 3 failed IUI's and we just started the IVF process. It has been an emotional journey! I try to stay strong but sometimes it's overwhelming. We are both so lucky to have such supportive and amazing husbands to share this journey with us- it'll be worth it!! Thank you for sharing your stories!! I will be praying for you guys! <3 Amber

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  8. Ivf Acupuncture Treatment generally very successful to increse birth rates. Acupuncture right before or after IVF is considered best.

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