Ryan and I had a wonderful time at our first adoption education class last night. :) There were four other couples there, and the setting was more like a discussion group than an actual class. We broke into two groups and discussed several different adoption issues from the perspective of all three parties involved - birthparents, adoptive parents, and adoptee. Each person in this Adoption Triad experiences loss, which manifests itself in various ways like feeling rejected, guilty, grieved, etc. For example, the adoptive parents could feel rejection from society because their family does not all look alike, the birthparents could feel rejected from their peers who think they are not making the right decision, and the adopted child could feel a sense of rejection from their birthparents choice to make an adoption plan. We all feel it, so this should be something that binds us together, and makes us a more unified team.
I don't really feel like we learned anything new necessarily, but we totally enjoyed spending time with other adoptive couples. I loved being able to discuss adoption with others who have been through infertility and even pregnancy loss. We're all coming from the same perspective, we have gone through the same heartache, and we all just want to be parents. It was neat. :) The next class is in two weeks with the same group of people and I am looking forward to spending more time with them. :)
Our daughter's birthmom was only 14 when she had her and although she knows she made the right decision, she has definitely felt the sting of rejection from her "friends" at school, basically calling her a "bad mother" for making an adoption plan. As an adoptive parent, it's very hard to watch her go through that struggle.
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