Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Story of open adoption

I was YouTubing tonight. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. :) Anyway, I came across this testimony of domestic infant adoption. Ryan and I still have a lot to learn and think about in regards to how open/closed we would want our adoption to be, but I really appreciated the perspectives of all parties involved in this story. I love this couple's example of love and concern for the birthmother, not just the baby. It's a little long, but worth watching.

I'm so excited for the adoption seminar on Saturday! Can't wait to share all of the things we learn about the process of this new adventure. :)

Monday, May 21, 2012

More things to look forward to

Moving on to adoption instead of continuing IVF has allowed Ryan and I to start making decisions based on what we want to do instead of what we need to do in order to accommodate treatment. We are taking a week vacation in June, which I am absolutely thrilled about. Our little weekend trip after the miscarriage was very nice, but we have really been wanting to totally get away for a longer period of time. It'll be so wonderful to kick back and enjoy each other now that we're officially switching gears after the last two years of trying to get pregnant. 

Two weeks after we get back, I will be done working outside of home. yay!!! :) I'm going to come alongside Ryan and help him accomplish some of his goals, as well as finally being able to focus on the many things that I simply don't have time for with our current lifestyle. Ryan and I put a whole list together of things that I want to accomplish with the extra 40-50 hours a week I'll have. I am so excited to for the opportunity to be productive with the things that actually matter to me, like working on the house, financial efficiency, spiritual growth, church service, etc. And of course, it will be easier to tackle the mound of paperwork that will come with adoption. We think that this will be an excellent transition period for us to get used to the single income and get into a solid groove of time/financial efficiency before we bring our future baby home. My last day at work is July 6th. I may or may not be counting down weeks instead of days because it sounds like less time. *teehee*

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Now what?

Ok we've decided to pursue adoption - now what? So far the only real decision we've made is that we are going to pursue domestic infant adoption, instead of going the international or foster-to-adopt route. At face value, it just seems to make the most sense for Ryan and I. However, as you all know, none of our plans have worked out thus far. haha. So we are willing to be flexible if the Lord starts leading us in another direction. :) 

We are signed up for a introductory seminar on June 2nd with a local agency called NightLight Christian Adoptions. I am very excited to get there and hear what they have to say. I think it will provide a good overall picture of what adoption through an agency would look like, and will help us figure out where to start in this process. We are not necessarily going with NightLight, they just happen to be close enough to home and offer a free seminar in the near future. Works for us! :)

We are also very curious to learn more about independent / private adoption. In a nutshell, this form of adoption would mean finding a birthmother apart from an agency, and working with various adoption professionals such as an attorney and social worker(s) to fulfill the necessary legal requirements. In order to find a birthmother you would typically have to advertise yourselves, and utilize various networks to get the word out. This idea grabbed our attention because, surprise surprise, my husband's expertise happens to be internet marketing and we have developed a huge network of people who have joined us on the search for Baby Miller. Could God utilize these resources to help us find a baby? Maybe so! On the flip side, going through this process without an agency could also be incredibly daunting and put us in over our heads. Thankfully a few of the agencies that I've looked into offer modified packages if we were to find our own birthmother so we may be able to do a combination of private and agency adoption. There's just a lot of learning to do, so we're not taking any steps beyond research right now. 

I came across this beautiful slideshow on an online forum a few months back. It continues to bless my heart by giving me something tangible to hope for and look forward to as we head down this new road. Just wanted to share. :)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Switching gears

Ryan and I have been doing a lot of thinking and talking over the last couple weeks, and we have come to a decision on our next step. I kept catching myself in theses mental arguments, trying to convince myself that we should do IVF again. "Don't you want to have a cute baby belly? Don't you want to see ultrasounds of a precious miracle growing inside you? A few more months of treatment won't kill you. Suck it up, the injections and transfers aren't that bad!" At some point last weekend, something inside of me clicked. I realized that it's ok if I simply don't want to do IVF again. Stopping treatment does not make me a weak person, and it does not mean that I'm "giving up". It doesn't mean that we'll never do it again either. It just means that right now, at this point in our lives, we're ready to walk down a different road to get to the same destination - parenthood. Coming to that realization was so incredibly liberating! I feel like a huge amount of pressure (which I put on myself) has been lifted from my shoulders. So yes dear friends, we are switching gears and are oh so happy about it. :) Adoption here we come! woohoo!! :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012


I'm still here! :) It's been almost two weeks since my last post and I feel like I'm neglecting everyone. lol. I don't have any updates for you right now, but there will be one coming very soon!