Friday, October 21, 2011

Another bump in the road

When we talked to Dr. Q a few weeks ago, he gave us a rough estimate for the cost of a Mini IVF which we thought was totally doable. However, after going over finances with the office manager this week, it turns out that the estimate did not include the cost of meds. I got a quote from the pharmacy yesterday which confirmed that my insurance is not covering anything, and my cost for meds alone is over $2,000. That brings our total IVF cost to over $7,000, which we simply can't pay right now. We're going to need at least another month to save before we can move forward. ::head desk::

I was pretty frustrated yesterday, I’m not gonna lie. As ridiculous as it might be, I had secretly hoped that maybe God would surprise us this month with a natural pregnancy. But I started my period just prior to the call from the pharmacy, so there went that idea. Earlier this week, I thought that my period would mean the start of the IVF procedures. Instead it ended up being an annoying reminder that we can’t get pregnant on our own, and as a result, it is going to cost us seven grand. And it’s not even guaranteed to work! For crying out loud, why can’t we just conceive for free like a normal couple??? ::sigh::

Oddly enough, Ryan and I happened to have a Bible study planned with another couple from church last night. I wasn't exactly in the mood for being social, but I decided to pull myself together and get through our lesson. And whatdoyouknow, our passage was Philippians 4:6 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and pettition, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Great. Just when I feel like being mad, I have to go read that verse. hahaha. ;) It was just what I needed to hear. I have a lot to be thankful for. The God who has provided abundant blessings for me, is the same God who is in control of our struggle right now. And He wants me to talk to Him about this. He wants me to ask Him for a baby. My infertility is not too small a problem for Him to listen to, and it is not too big for Him to fix. My job is just to lay it at His feet continually, and trust in Him to do the rest in His timing, not mine.

Monday, October 10, 2011

The next step

Last Wednesday, we walked into Dr. Q's office thinking that we were deciding between a final IUI, and moving on to adoption. Upon leaving the office, we tossed the idea of another IUI out the window, and started seriously considering a third option - in vitro fertilization. We have done a lot of mental processing and talking things out with each other in the last week and a half. We have also sought counsel from a few key people that we trust, and have received unanimous affirmation that IVF is the option that makes the most sense. We feel that God has confirmed this as the next step in our journey, and we are excited to move forward in the coming weeks. :)
Now, those of you in the infertility boat are actually a minority of my followers, so I need to take a minute to explain what IVF is. So far what we've been doing is IUI (intrauterine insemination). Which is putting the sperm directly into the uterus at about the time of ovulation. The hope was that at least one of my peeps would meet up with one of Ryan's peeps and the two would become a baby and cozy up in my ute. IVF will be different, in that embryos are conceived outside the body and placed in my ute afterward. I will go through more ovary stimulation to produce a larger quantity of eggs. The eggs are then harvested, fertilized in a lab, and then the resulting embryos are transferred into my uterus in the hopes that they implant and become a pregnancy. Below is a simple 3D animation of the process if you'd like to check it out.

Our plan is to fertilize two eggs, God willing we'll be able to transfer two embryos, and then pray for two babies. We're goin for twins!! ::grin::

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Quick check in

Just checking in to say that this break from treatment has been so nice! I like life without meds and appointments! ::content sigh:: There has been a ton to think about since our appointment with Dr. Q last week. It went very well and gave us quite a bit of clarification on our options. I really appreciate having a doctor who takes the time to talk through our concerns and give explanations without being condescending or adding pressure to us. Ryan and I are so relieved that we have the time to process everything and come to a decision that we feel comfortable with. We are going to talk to a couple more people before going public with our decision, so you'll have to hang in there a little longer for that. :)