Thursday, July 7, 2016

Just Checkin In :)

Hi friends! We recently connected with a childhood friend of ours, who happens to be a photographer. Isn't it wonderful and convenient that I know so many photographers?? ;) lol Anyway, Laura K. Moore captured some beautiful photos of our little family and I just had to share a few of my favorites. We're so happy with how they came out!! 

 ^they're showing each other the rocks they found ;)
My handsome 2 year old!
Can't believe that Nol will be 1 next week!
Crazy about my boys!

If I had to sum up this stage of life in one word it would be "Constant." :) Elias is curious, rambunctious, and just BUSY. Nolan is starting to follow suit as he gets older. He has a more determined spirit than Elias, and does not have the concept of fear. They keep me on my toes all day. The boys are the best of friends and my heart just swells as I watch their relationship continue to grow. The four of us are so blessed and so thankful to have each other. <3

Friday, May 6, 2016

Happy/Not-so-Happy Mother's Day

My last post was in OCTOBER. What the...??! Remember when I would write like once a week? That was fun. lol. I'm in a constant state of crazy at this stage in our young family and unfortunately writing hasn't been at the top of my priority list. But I do like reflecting around Mother's Day. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to randomly pop in and pretend like it hasn't been forever since my last post. lol

Motherhood is challenging and stressful at times, but after the years of longing and fighting for it over and over again, it truly is a gift that I don't take for granted. I drink in Elias' kisses, his crazy nap hair, his constant gibberish, how he seriously says "Mommy" multiple times every minute. I love Nolan's sweet smile, hearing his man size burps, and seeing his face light up whenever Elias is around. My house is chaos, there are dirty hand prints on my walls, I'm up to my ears in laundry, and I'm tired pretty much all the time. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

I have two beautiful, happy, healthy sons. I could not be more thankful that they are the ones that God entrusted to Ryan and I to raise.  But there are 10 other babies in my heart that never made it to my arms. I get sad when I remember our embryos from IVF who didn't stick, the miscarriages, and the failed adoption. Overall, I still have many mixed emotions on Mother's Day and I wonder if that will ever change. I kinda hope not. I think it's healthy to remember some level of pain so that I can empathize with other women who are hurting around me. That's real life, you know? Not everyone is 100% happy on Mother's Day. 

So I said this last year, and I'm going to say it againIf you are in the trenches of infertility, remembering past miscarriage(s), mourning for children that you've lost, struggling over broken family relationships, grieving the loss of your own mother, if you find yourself hurting in any way on Sunday, just know that you're in my heart. Whether it is a seasonal trial or years of heartache that doesn't have an end in sight, you don't need to feel guilty for being sad. I guarantee that there are other women out there who feel the way you do, and it's ok to cry if you need to. <3