Well, I suppose it's time for an update huh? It's been just over two weeks since the miscarriage and while I have definitely had my emotional moments, for the most part every day is getting a little easier. I know that I'm still grieving, and that I need a little bit of time to process and get a grip. I think the main hurdle I'm stuck on right now is the fact that I'm kind of stuck in limbo. I'm so accustomed to quickly moving on to the next plan after a failed cycle. It's become a coping method for me. I'm eager to move on and do something, even though I know I'm not ready yet. It's frustrating.
At the start of the last treatment cycle, Ryan and I had figured that either the transfer would fail and we would move on to adoption OR it would work and we would have a baby in nine months. Surprise surprise - neither of those possibilities happened! So now we are reevaluating the next steps toward parenthood. Here are our thoughts on the two options that we have on the table right now.
IVF again - A big part of me absolutely dreads getting back on meds, doing a full egg retrieval again, and the emotional toll of treatment. But the truth is, in vitro worked for us. I got pregnant. So, really, what's another few months of this? I would really love to experience pregnancy, and another round of IVF would give us a shot at that opportunity. We would want to talk to Dr. Q about what his plan would be this time around of course. I know that there are no guarantees, but I would want to see what preventative measures Dr. Q wants to take so that we do our part in avoiding another miscarriage.
Adoption - I am tired of poking myself and, I'm tired of the continued disappointments of treatment. We've always wanted to adopt, even before we had trouble getting pregnant. I know that it's not an easy road, and it is a completely new world for us, but at the end of it, God willing we'll have a child. Infertility treatments only give us a chance at getting pregnant. Adoption seems like a more sure method of becoming parents. And who knows, since we're diagnosed as Unexplained Infertility, maybe pregnancy will just happen one day for us. If not, we can always pursue IVF again when we're ready for number baby number two or three.
Both of these options have totally valid arguments. I flip flop between both on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis. lol. We don't know what we're going to do. But I trust that the Lord will make His will obvious to us as we seek Him, and He will give us the strength to get through the hardships and frustrations that will come with each.
At the start of the last treatment cycle, Ryan and I had figured that either the transfer would fail and we would move on to adoption OR it would work and we would have a baby in nine months. Surprise surprise - neither of those possibilities happened! So now we are reevaluating the next steps toward parenthood. Here are our thoughts on the two options that we have on the table right now.
IVF again - A big part of me absolutely dreads getting back on meds, doing a full egg retrieval again, and the emotional toll of treatment. But the truth is, in vitro worked for us. I got pregnant. So, really, what's another few months of this? I would really love to experience pregnancy, and another round of IVF would give us a shot at that opportunity. We would want to talk to Dr. Q about what his plan would be this time around of course. I know that there are no guarantees, but I would want to see what preventative measures Dr. Q wants to take so that we do our part in avoiding another miscarriage.
Adoption - I am tired of poking myself and, I'm tired of the continued disappointments of treatment. We've always wanted to adopt, even before we had trouble getting pregnant. I know that it's not an easy road, and it is a completely new world for us, but at the end of it, God willing we'll have a child. Infertility treatments only give us a chance at getting pregnant. Adoption seems like a more sure method of becoming parents. And who knows, since we're diagnosed as Unexplained Infertility, maybe pregnancy will just happen one day for us. If not, we can always pursue IVF again when we're ready for number baby number two or three.
Both of these options have totally valid arguments. I flip flop between both on a daily, and sometimes hourly basis. lol. We don't know what we're going to do. But I trust that the Lord will make His will obvious to us as we seek Him, and He will give us the strength to get through the hardships and frustrations that will come with each.
Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide.
In every change, He faithful will remain.