We just got back home from Dr. Q's office. There was nothing to see on our ultrasound. No heartbeat. No baby. We're not sure when the baby stopped growing, but the medication I've been on has kept me from bleeding. It also made my body think that it was still pregnant, which is why I've been experiencing symptoms. We're in a bit of shock. Please continue to pray for us as we process this loss.
After 4 years of heartache and loss, we became parents to two little miracles through adoption and surprise after infertility. This is our story. :)
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
So Far, So Good!
Hi there! I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas! :) We had such a lovely time celebrating Christmas with family, and then celebrating four years of wedded bliss on Thursday. :) One huge perk about running our own business is the flexible work schedule during the holidays. Aside from a few emails and client monitoring here and there, Ryan pretty much took the whole week off which was so nice. :)
On the baby front, things are still going great! I have had a couple moments of nausea, which thrills me. lol. I know that sounds funny, but it's just nice to get the reassurance that my body is working hard and the baby is still growing. :) I haven't been struck with full-on morning sickness yet, but I know it hits a lot of women around week 7, which is only a few days away. I guess we'll see. :) I've officially moved up to my fat jeans, thanks to the baby bloat. :) And especially the last few days, I've had increasing waves of sleepiness. I'll be fine and then all of a sudden I need a nap, really bad. haha.
But yeah, that's pretty much it. So far so good, praise God. :) Our ultrasound is tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to it!
But yeah, that's pretty much it. So far so good, praise God. :) Our ultrasound is tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to it!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
5 Weeks
We hit the 5 week mark today and I'm barely getting used to the idea that I'm pregnant. :) After experiencing a loss, on top of all of the other crushed hopes we've had over the last few years...it's just hard to fully dive in and accept this as the real deal. Is it really possible that something actually worked for us??? lol. I think I will feel this way until we see the heartbeat(s) or I find myself hugging a toilet and puking my guts out - whichever comes first! ;) It's still too early for significant symptoms, so for right now, I'm feeling pretty normal. Just a little more tired than usual. :)
I'm still doing daily injections and while I am so thankful to have a reason to do them, my butt is getting tired of it. lol. It's a small price to pay for the blessing of a pregnancy, but I will be glad when I don't have to do them any more, you know? I believe that the plan is to check my hormone levels when we do the ultrasound on the 30th. If everything looks good, Dr. Q will switch me off injectables and on to suppositories. So that's another reason to look forward to ultrasound day! :) 12 days to go and it can't get here soon enough!
I'm still doing daily injections and while I am so thankful to have a reason to do them, my butt is getting tired of it. lol. It's a small price to pay for the blessing of a pregnancy, but I will be glad when I don't have to do them any more, you know? I believe that the plan is to check my hormone levels when we do the ultrasound on the 30th. If everything looks good, Dr. Q will switch me off injectables and on to suppositories. So that's another reason to look forward to ultrasound day! :) 12 days to go and it can't get here soon enough!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Second Beta
I did another round of bloodwork today. Dr. Q likes to see the numbers increase by at least 50%, but it's more confirming if they actually double. So we were hoping to see mine double to 132, and it came back at 160! :) Although beta numbers are not hard and fast indicators, from my coordinator's experience it looks like there's only one baby in there. Of course I was hoping for both babies, but I'm just happy that at least one of them stuck and is growing. :) woohoo!
I am officially 4 weeks 1 day pregnant. (What a newb. *teehee*) We made it to 6 weeks with our last pregnancy, so passing that mark will be the next milestone for us. And then after that is the ultrasound, which is scheduled for Monday, December 30th. Oh I just can't wait to see a beautiful fluttering heart on the screen! Thank You Lord! :)
I am officially 4 weeks 1 day pregnant. (What a newb. *teehee*) We made it to 6 weeks with our last pregnancy, so passing that mark will be the next milestone for us. And then after that is the ultrasound, which is scheduled for Monday, December 30th. Oh I just can't wait to see a beautiful fluttering heart on the screen! Thank You Lord! :)
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
It Worked!!!
I can hardly believe that I get to write this post, but it's true - the transfer worked! WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!
And in case you were wondering, yes, three pictures of the positive tests are totally necessary because I am still in shock that they exist. hahaha. ;) I tested this morning at home and got a clear but faint positive line. I didn't want to get my hopes up until after we got the bloodwork results back. My coordinator was hoping for my beta to come back at 50 (8dp5dt), and it came back at 66! So we're on the higher side of the average, which I'm happy about. I was really hoping for higher numbers because that could be an indicator that BOTH stuck, but we won't know for sure until we see the heartbeat(s). In either case, I'm just happy that at least one of them stuck. :) I go back in for another round of bloodwork on Thursday, and we're hoping to see the beta number double like it's supposed to. :)
Please continue to pray for us. We've been this happy before, and we know from experience that a positive pregnancy test does not guarantee that a healthy baby comes home with us in 9 months. We still have a long way to go. But we're trusting God through it, and we're so thankful that He has given us this precious gift today. Our estimated due date for a single baby is August 20, and July 29 if we get doubly blessed with twins. :) Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Feelin Festive
So far so good folks! Emotionally, I feel much better than I did last week in anticipation of the transfer, so that's good. Physically, I've been a little achy and crampy. Typical post-transfer stuff, not really anything special to report at this point. Bedrest technically lasted through Wednesday, but I've still been taking it easy because I can. :) Ryan and I did our Christmas decorating last weekend, so I've had a festive room to sit in and I love it. Here are a few snapshots of our cozy house these days. :)
And since I'm in a Christmassy mood, I think I will leave you with Little Drummer Boy performed by Pentatonix. This acapella group does amazing things with their voices. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I heard it. :)
(P.S. if you want to hear more, check out their Royals cover)
Monday, December 2, 2013
Embryo Adoption Transfer #2
Just as I expected, the transfer date seemed to come out of no where! lol. Ryan and I enjoyed Thanksgiving festivities last week, we spent the weekend getting our Christmas decorations up, and then bam - transfer day! The transfer went very well this morning. It was probably the easiest and fastest one we've done yet, which was pretty cool. :) Our embryologist said that both embryos thawed without any problems and are in great condition.
This may be kind of random, but I love our embryologists. I wish that I could video them when they come in and tell us about our embryos so that you would understand, but that'd be a bit awkward. ;) There's a man and woman, and both of them are European with lovely accents and big smiles on their faces. They're the type of people you kind of want to hug for no reason at all. lol. Dr. Q is actually broadening his staff a bit, so he has a surgical assistant now and a few interns who have watched during my check ups and procedures. I know I've said this before, but I'm just so thankful for Dr. Q and every single person who works under him. He picks wonderfully kind and personable people to be a part of his team, and it really makes me feel like their on our team too. :)
Anyway, thank you for all of the likes, comments, texts, thoughts, and prayers today! I've officially planted myself on the couch to relax for the next few days. I'll post an update again soon. Here's a picture of the two embryos that I hope are getting cozy in my ute right now. :)
Monday, November 25, 2013
Transfer Scheduled
We had our monitoring appointment with Dr. Q today. My ute is lookin great! I'll hear back on my bloodwork results tonight but I've never had a problem with my hormone levels, so I'm not worried about that. Assuming that there aren't any red flags in bloodwork, the transfer is scheduled for next Monday, December 2nd.
My coordinator asked me today if I was excited, and on the spot I had a bit of a hard time answering that question. In the past, physically transitioning on to the next attempt really helped my emotions transition from grief to hope again. This time has been different. The negative from the last cycle hit me harder than I expected, and I'm still not fully over it. I've definitely been more sad about the last cycle than excited about the current cycle. If you think of me this week, I'd really appreciate any prayers I can get. I'm having a hard time feeling hopeful. My spirit is tired and even though I know I need to, I must admit that I just don't feel like I have the strength to bring my broken heart before the Lord right now...
I hear the Savior say,
'Thy strength indeed is small.
Child of weakness watch and pray,
Find in Me, thine all in all.'
Friday, November 15, 2013
Round Two
Round two has officially begun! Our baseline appointment with Dr. Q went well this morning. Given the conditions of both my body and the quality of the embryos from last cycle, he expressed genuine surprise at my negative results. Our case puzzles him. Which I guess could be a bad thing, because he can't seem to make any form of treatment work for us. lol. But it can be a good thing too because now more than ever, he is quite determined to get us pregnant. I'm happy to have a driven doctor on board! :) I really believe that he has developed care and concern for Ryan and I over the last couple years, and I'm thankful to have him with us in this process.
Anyway, estrogen injections start tonight. It was really nice to have a break from injections and other medications over the last week. Even though I developed a delayed allergic reaction to progesterone after I stopped taking it, which was weird. The bruises and soreness at the injection sites went away, but they were replaced with itchy, lumpy hives. Yay me. ;) lol.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Post FET Thoughts
At this time last week, I really thought that the transfer had worked. I experienced a few of the symptoms that I had when we got pregnant last year, and my heart was flooded with high hopes that at least one of the embies stuck. Then I had some period type symptoms the day before test day, so I just didn't know what to think. Thursday morning I went in for bloodwork, and we got the results later in the afternoon. At some point in the hours between, I decided to put myself out of the misery of waiting and did a home pregnancy test. Can I just say how terrifying pregnancy tests are? I know some people are obsessed with peeing on sticks during treatment cycles, but that is not me by any means. There is so much anxiety leading up to taking the test, and so much sadness afterward. I just hate, HATE those cursed sticks. But when you're going through embryo transfers, you can get the news from the stick or from a phone call with your clinical coordinator. Pick your poison. Anyway, after we tested and confirmed it with the bloodwork results, we did what we always do when we're feeling low - we ran away. We drove down to a great hotel in San Diego, ordered room service, watched movies, talked, and cried.
We've been reminding ourselves that embryo adoption is much bigger than us and our desire to have a baby. It's about the genetic family, and relieving them of the burden of what to do with the babies they cannot bring into the world. It's about the babies themselves. We were obviously hoping for a different outcome, but there is a peace that comes with knowing that these two embryos have been released from their frozen state and are now with Jesus. I so wanted them to come into the world, but God wanted them with Him, and my body was a means for getting them there. When I think about it that way, it still breaks my heart, but I feel like I was chosen to serve them in the most unique way possible.
Every step of our journey to parenthood has been heartache. There is a big temptation to guard our emotions by being pessimistic as we head into the next transfer. To expect the next couple transfers to result in more negative pregnancy tests would be easier than getting our hopes up and having them crash again. But losing hope would need to be paired with calloused hearts toward the three little lives that we still have entrusted to our care. I refuse to do that. I have to hope for them! My Heavenly Father can bring forth life in seemingly impossible circumstances. Though He may not choose to do so for us, He has already proven in His word that He is able, and enjoys doing so. I'm resting in that truth. <3
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Transfer Results
Big fat negative. Stark white and no room for guessing. My bloodwork confirmed the failed cycle earlier this afternoon (8dp5dt). More thoughts to come later, I just wanted to share the news. :'( #infertilitysucks
Friday, November 1, 2013
"When will you know??"
For Ryan and I, there are so many pros and very few cons to being so open about our struggle to add to our family. As I've said before, we are so thankful to have you all as such an amazing support group. Having people we know, AND people we don't, coming alongside us to cheer us on and pray for us is a huge blessing. But there is one down side in particular that I anticipate experiencing in the coming days as we wait for our results. :) Since you have all expressed such care and concern for us, I think it's only fair that I share this down side with you so that you can prevent unintentionally stressing us out. lol. ;)
I know that you're excited to hear about the results of our transfer, and because we're generally open books, I understand the expectation that we will give you a heads up on when the results will come in. But the date of my pregnancy test is one of those things that Ryan and I like to keep to ourselves. There is anxiety leading up to that day. After all this time trying to get pregnant, I've become acutely aware of my body and I can tell when a cycle has failed a few days before my period or a negative pregnancy test solidifies it. There are days when I know it's over, but life goes on and I still need to interact with people. I try to keep it together and always have a joyful spirit. But that is very difficult when on any given day, I can have handfuls of people excitedly asking me when I will test. Some of you have had the unfortunate experience of having me burst into tears in response to what you thought would be a harmless question, and I'm sorry about that. lol. You're like this-
I know that you're excited to hear about the results of our transfer, and because we're generally open books, I understand the expectation that we will give you a heads up on when the results will come in. But the date of my pregnancy test is one of those things that Ryan and I like to keep to ourselves. There is anxiety leading up to that day. After all this time trying to get pregnant, I've become acutely aware of my body and I can tell when a cycle has failed a few days before my period or a negative pregnancy test solidifies it. There are days when I know it's over, but life goes on and I still need to interact with people. I try to keep it together and always have a joyful spirit. But that is very difficult when on any given day, I can have handfuls of people excitedly asking me when I will test. Some of you have had the unfortunate experience of having me burst into tears in response to what you thought would be a harmless question, and I'm sorry about that. lol. You're like this-
And I respond like this-
It's just awkward and bad for everyone involved! lol. So yes, all that to say, telling us you're thinking about us and/or praying for us is helpful, but asking when we will find out is not. :) I hope that this is all coming across the right way. You guys know we love you and will share the news with you, good or bad, as soon as we can. Thank you for your constant understanding and support! :)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Transfer Complete!
The transfer went really well this morning, thank you all for your well wishes and prayers! A few of you have asked me what the actual procedure is like so I figured I'd briefly explain it for you. I have to have a full bladder because that helps give a clearer picture of my uterus in an ultrasound. So once I'm about ready to burst, Dr. Q opens up my lady bits with a tool (similar to what's used for a pap smear, but on a larger scale), and slides a tube up into my uterus. The embryologist puts the embryos into the tube and they're pushed in with a bit of air. Once they're in, I have to lay down on the table for about 30 min and then we're good to go. It's a pretty easy and quick procedure. There's a little bit of cramping afterward but nothing traumatic. :) The full bladder is really the biggest contributor to the discomfort. Because I have to hold it, yet stay relaxed enough so that Dr. Q can work without hurting me, and all the while I have a nurse or assistant pushing on my abdomen with the ultrasound camera. Yowza! lol.
Anyway, our embryologist said that the embryos thawed without any problems and are expanding beautifully. :) It was so nice to hear her say that they were both in great condition. In our past three embryo transfers, I think we only had one little rockstar in the bunch and the rest were classified as being in ok condition. I know that the grades and "quality" don't necessarily mean anything because God is ultimately the giver of life, but it's still nice to hear such a positive response after an embryo thaw. Especially since they have been frozen for 11 years! lol. So yes, that said, here's a picture of our little ones and a few others from our morning at Dr. Q's. :)
I'm on a light bedrest for the rest of this week, so I'm sure I'll do another post while I'm sprawled on the couch over the next couple days. ;) Thank you for your continued prayers!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Tomorrow's the Big Day!
I'm so excited about our transfer tomorrow morning!! Eeeeee! I just can't wait. I'm on a total up swing right now - high hopes and high spirits. :) That may bite me in the butt later if this transfer does not result in pregnancy, but I'm not going to worry about that now. I'm happy to be happy about it, if that makes sense. lol. I'm going to try to take some pictures while we're at Dr. Q's, so if you want a bit of play by play through the process, make sure you're following the Where's Baby Miller facebook page and/or my Instagram (DenayMiller). :)
Physically, I'm doing great. Ryan and I really feel like we've nailed our injection routine which is nice. I've found that for my body, getting the syringe in is the hardest part. Thankfully, I don't have any burning sensation or pain when the medication penetrates. We've been icing the site to help numb it prior to injection, and then I massage and put a heating pad on afterward to help the oil absorb into the muscle and prevent lumps. Although I do have some bruising and slight soreness, I haven't had to deal with welts or anything crazy.
Side note - ^this is the new ice pack I bought today. It's got smiley little crabs and lobsters on it and I just about died when I saw it. :) Funny how a cute ice pack can make me excited about my injection tonight. lol
Friday, October 25, 2013
Transfer Date Set!
My appointment with Dr. Q this afternoon went very well. We were hoping for my uterine lining to be at least 8mm, and it's measuring at 11mm! Estrogen level needed to be at least 300 and it's at almost three times that- 849!!
So my body is definitely doing what it's supposed to be doing (thank You Lord!). :) Now we just gotta get these frosties to thaw, stick, and STAY. Our transfer is officially scheduled for next Wednesday morning, October 30th. Daily injections of progesterone start tonight, and I'm praying that my body responds as well to this medication as it has to the estrodial. woot woot! :)
So my body is definitely doing what it's supposed to be doing (thank You Lord!). :) Now we just gotta get these frosties to thaw, stick, and STAY. Our transfer is officially scheduled for next Wednesday morning, October 30th. Daily injections of progesterone start tonight, and I'm praying that my body responds as well to this medication as it has to the estrodial. woot woot! :)
Monday, October 21, 2013
So Far So Good
So far so good! We did our second injection last night and although my left side was slightly more sensitive than the first injection on my right side, they are not as bad as I thought they would be. ::huge sigh of relief:: I'm sure it will be harder once I have to do them every day, but for now, I'm not hating it. :) My next appointment is on Friday afternoon to see how I'm responding. We're hoping for at least 8mm of lovely uterine lining, and estrogen levels of at least 300. :)
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Baseline Appointment
Yesterday's appointment went well. :) Dr. Q says that my ute looks beautiful and gave the official ok to start on meds. I start on my first estrogen injection tonight, and thankfully I only need to take this hormone every three days. Progesterone injections start five days before the transfer and those will need to be done daily. I am also taking another two medications in pill form, as an added safeguard since I have a miscarriage in my history. Overall, I'm really pleased to be on more intense medication than I was before. I feel like Dr. Q is taking every precaution that he can and that has really put my mind at ease. I have a renewed sense of hope that this just might work. :)
I have another appointment next week and depending on how my uterine lining and hormone levels look, we'll either do the transfer on Wednesday, October 30th, OR Friday, November 1st. :)
Monday, October 14, 2013
Green Light
Our clinic is ready to move forward, woohoo! :) I have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Q on Wednesday afternoon, and I'll start on meds that evening!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
They've Arrived :)
Our frosties arrived at Dr. Q's clinic today! :)
My coordinator said she'd let me know tomorrow if the embryologists have everything they need to move forward. I'll keep you posted! :)
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Surprise Meds
My clinical coordinator went ahead and ordered my meds for me, so that I'd have them on hand when we were ready to go. During my last FET, Dr. Q just had me on progesterone suppositories and estrogen patches, so that's what I was expecting this time around. Super minimal and painless. Well his protocol has changed in the last year and a half. Sames hormones, but they're both intramuscular injections now- oils injected into my butt muscle daily, prior to the transfer and for the first 10 weeks of pregnancy.
This type of injection is supposed to be the most painful of the fertility drugs, and I don't have experience with it so I'm a little nervous. But I am trying to look at the up side! I trust Dr. Q, and if he thinks this is the best form of medication to sustain a pregnancy, then so be it. Better safe than sorry! And it's just another opportunity to give of myself for these babies. Because that's what mommies do. :) These babies are worth it, these babies are worth it...
Monday, September 30, 2013
Almost Ready
Well folks, the embryos are getting ready to be shipped, and they are expected to to arrive at Dr. Q's office sometime between this Thursday and next Tuesday. :) I called Dr. Q's office this morning to schedule an appointment for my baseline ultrasound, and was expecting to start meds tonight or tomorrow. Unfortunately we hit a little snag. Without going into boring details that I'm not 100% clear on anyway, the general idea is that the genetic family's clinic freezing protocol does not correspond to the typical thawing protocol at our clinic. Our embryologist needs to order something or other in order to properly thaw them. So even though my body is ready to start preparing for occupants, and the embies will be here by next week, our clinic is not ready for a transfer.
At first I was kicking myself for not following up with my clinic coordinator to let her know that I was planning to move forward this cycle, and make sure that they had everything they needed. But you know, it is what it is. This was a totally unforeseen thing on our end, but the delay is still a part of God's plan and that's ok. Hopefully this will only set us back a couple weeks, and in the grand scheme of things a couple weeks really isn't the end of the world. :)
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
So Many Emotions
The first thing that people say to me about our progress in embryo adoption is "How exciting!" :) And I agree, it IS exciting! If this works, my body will be the new home of 1 or 2 babies who have been frozen in time for the last ten years. They may be at the earliest stage post conception, but they have in fact been conceived. They are babies. Individuals. And modern medicine will allow an infertile couple like us to both adopt and carry these little ones. I will be able to experience pregnancy, with all of its joys and pains. It's a pretty incredible thing. And I'm totally jazzed to be a part of it.
But at the same time, I think most people forget that it's also very hard and can even be quite daunting. Fertility treatment is not fun. I'm going to try to get pregnant in a completely unnatural way. I'm going to lay on a cold table, holding my husband's hand while a doctor puts these embryos into my uterus through a tube. I know that we're blessed to have the opportunity to do treatment, and I'm truly thankful for that. But it's still not exactly what you imagine when you think about bringing children into the world. And even after it's done, there's no guarantee that it will work. We've been trying to add to our family through a variety of options for three and a half years, and we have a 0% success rate. I know all too well what it feels like to get a negative pregnancy test after a transfer. Worse yet, the feeling of my heart dropping to my stomach when I see blood on a piece of toilet paper. I know that statistically, not every embryo is going to stick. But how do I reconcile that emotionally, when I know that they are babies? Individuals. How do I put my heart into this, pray for the ones that go in, imagine and hope for the children they will grow to be...and yet try not to become devastated if/when I lose them? I've only ever lost them. Failed attempts are all I've known so far. How do I try to protect my heart, try to not get my hopes up, and have realistic expectations and yet still value these embryos as the lives that they are? I know that God is the giver of life and that He is in control. I do not doubt that He can do this, and yet I need to rest in His love for me if His answer is "Not yet". There are just so many different facets of emotion, and it's really hard to balance it all.
These are some of the things that are going through my heart and mind as we prepare for our upcoming transfer. I really, really appreciate the positive feedback and support that we get from all of you. :) But I just wanted to give a bigger and deeper perspective than the excitement on the surface. Keep calm and pray on. :)
These are some of the things that are going through my heart and mind as we prepare for our upcoming transfer. I really, really appreciate the positive feedback and support that we get from all of you. :) But I just wanted to give a bigger and deeper perspective than the excitement on the surface. Keep calm and pray on. :)
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Contract Finalized
The agency received the genetic family's portion of the contract today! So we're officially in the next phase, which is the shipping coordination between the clinic storing the embryos, and Dr. Q's office. Assuming that all of that goes smoothly, it looks like we'll be able to do our transfer next month! :)
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Covered!
Look what came in the mail yesterday!
I guess Kaiser decided that it was ok to insure an infertile woman after all. ;)
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Still Pending
I still haven't received the final say from Kaiser about my insurance coverage. A nurse called me on Tuesday to ask a few questions, and as much as I wanted to rip her a new one, I knew that she was the middle man and didn't have power to do anything. I answered her questions to the best of my ability and she said that an underwriter will make the final decision soon. ::sigh:: If they still refuse to cover me, our plan is to apply again next month when the open enrollment starts for 2014 Obamacare. Then they supposedly can't deny me because of my "pre-existing condition".
In other news, the agency has our signed contract and they should be getting the genetic family's contract any day now! I keep looking at my phone, waiting for an email to come in saying that they are ready to ship the embryos but no such luck yet. Maybe tomorrow...
Friday, September 6, 2013
Seriously???!!
You may or may not know that Ryan is self employed. I recently had to get new health insurance coverage, which was supposed to start on the 15th of this month. This is a portion of the email I received last night-
Dear Ms. Miller,
Thank you for considering Kaiser Permanente for Individuals and Family [Plan name] for your health coverage. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you coverage at this time. Here are the reasons for our decision: Your history of in vitro fertilization.
My "history of in vitro fertilization"????????????! *&%$#^%&*$!!!!
For crying out loud, IVF is a procedure not a disease! Furthermore it was an elective, out of pocket procedure. We paid for it ourselves a year and a half ago. And now I am denied of any sort of coverage? Seriously?? I called to file an appeal this morning, and someone will be calling me in the next five business days to do a medical review over the phone. Please pray that they change this ridiculous decision. I know that there are other options that we can look into, but this plan was going to give us the most bang for our buck, especially anticipating a possible pregnancy. ::sigh:: Lord help me, cause I want to throat punch someone right now. lol
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Confirmation
No more reservations or nerves! We're so happy with our decision to move forward with this genetic family. A more detailed update is in the video below. :)
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Matched :)
We're officially matched!
We received notification that we were selected by a genetic family this past Friday. We have since been looking through their profile and thinking everything through before giving our approval to move forward. It has been a very interesting experience. We have never had the ball in our court before. We have just seen what God has laid out in front of us, and have moved forward with what has made sense, trusting that He was leading us through every decision. But getting someone else's profile, looking through their medical history, knowing that we actually had the option of saying no and moving on to a different family...it was surprisingly very intimidating. Is this the family for us? Will we get along well? What if another family would be a better fit? How are we supposed to know based on a couple pages of info and pictures??
We got a bit overwhelmed by the element of choice, and for a couple days I think it distracted us from the whole point of this. So here are the basics- We want to be parents, and to come alongside another family who wants their embryos to have a chance at life. That's it. All of the other minor details just don't matter in light of that. :)
Let's refer to the family as the R's for now. :) I obviously have to protect their privacy, so I will have to be somewhat vague. I can tell you that they are a white, Christian family who lives on the east coast. They have five embryos which are all at the day 6 blastocyst stage (if you're not familiar with the IVF lingo, that just means that they are developing right on track). The family is very interested in getting to know us and keeping in touch through whatever communication means we are comfortable with.
So what's next? Well the agency was going to start sending the documents to Dr. Q's office this week. Next week we'll get the contract signed. Then the agency will coordinate shipping of the embryos from the R's clinic to Dr. Q's office. I'm sure that after contracts are signed, we will start communication with the R's directly, so I will keep you posted. :) It's been a slower start than I expected, but we're moving forward!
We got a bit overwhelmed by the element of choice, and for a couple days I think it distracted us from the whole point of this. So here are the basics- We want to be parents, and to come alongside another family who wants their embryos to have a chance at life. That's it. All of the other minor details just don't matter in light of that. :)
Let's refer to the family as the R's for now. :) I obviously have to protect their privacy, so I will have to be somewhat vague. I can tell you that they are a white, Christian family who lives on the east coast. They have five embryos which are all at the day 6 blastocyst stage (if you're not familiar with the IVF lingo, that just means that they are developing right on track). The family is very interested in getting to know us and keeping in touch through whatever communication means we are comfortable with.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Embryo Adoption Profile Book
I received confirmation from our agency that our profile is currently being viewed by a genetic family! :) We don't know a single thing about this family, but I'm still happy to be considered by them. So yeah...hopefully we'll hear in the next few days whether or not they want to move forward with us.
In case you were wondering, we did slightly adjust our original adoption profile book when we switched to embryo adoption. Most of the main pages contain the same content, but I had to change the language in our introduction and closing pages to suit a genetic family instead of a birth family. And while I was at it, I updated some pictures as well. :) If you'd like to see what the genetic family is looking at, you can click here. :)
In case you were wondering, we did slightly adjust our original adoption profile book when we switched to embryo adoption. Most of the main pages contain the same content, but I had to change the language in our introduction and closing pages to suit a genetic family instead of a birth family. And while I was at it, I updated some pictures as well. :) If you'd like to see what the genetic family is looking at, you can click here. :)
Friday, July 26, 2013
Embryo Adoption FAQs
Below is a quick update, as well as the answers to some of the questions that I've been asked since we made our decision to switch to embryo adoption. I hope that it helps clarify things for you guys. Enjoy! :)
Friday, July 19, 2013
Addendum complete!
I know it's been way too long since I've updated. I'm sorry! There hasn't been much to share, and Ryan and I have been in and out of town a few times so life has been kind of busy. But the latest and greatest is that our home study addendum has finally been completed! :) Last year when we did our home study, we were approved to be adoptive parents via domestic infant adoption. Although it was very easy to switch from DIA to the Snowflakes program, we still needed to meet with our social worker so that she could make an official addendum to our homestudy to include embryo adoption. That's what we've been waiting on over the last few weeks. Now we can move on to the matching process! :)
So what will happen from here is similar to the domestic infant matching process, only it seems we have a little more give and take. Last I heard, there were 75 genetic families waiting for adopting families in our agency's Snowflakes program. Each of them have established criteria for prospective adopting families, and I believe that they put together a profile book about themselves with pictures just like we did. The agency will show us one family at a time, we both get to look through each other's profiles. If we all feel that it is a good match, we will sign the contract, and the agency will coordinate shipping of the embryos from their clinic to Dr. Q's. I hope to have more info and contact with our agency next week, so I'll be sure to keep you posted now that things are actually moving forward. :)
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
A Snowflake Story :)
One really cool thing about being a part of Nightlight Christian Adoptions, is that this is the agency that actually pioneered embryo adoption. :) I'm really thankful that we decided to go with them last summer, because it allowed us to switch to embryo adoption really easily when not all agencies provide this service. Anyway, I came across the video below about two families who went through the Snowflake program at Nightlight. I really think it shows how embryo adoption allows two families to help one another in their respective predicaments. It is a beautiful blessing to both the donating family and the adopting family, and I am so excited to be a part of it! :)
Friday, June 14, 2013
Moving Right Along
It was actually kind of nice to walk into Dr. Q's office on Wednesday and see those familiar faces. :) I am happy that this next phase, though approached from a different angle, is something that I'm used to and comfortable with. I know the process physically and emotionally, and I trust the people that we're working with. They seemed happy to see me as well. :) Dr. Q got on board with what we wanted, and he signed the form I needed him to. All the agency paperwork to switch our profile over has been taken care of, and we have an initial meeting scheduled with our wonderful social worker next Friday. Once that's done, we will officially be waiting for a match. :) Week and a half turn around? Yeah baby, that's what I like to see! ;)
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Embryo Adoption Here We Come!
In case you didn't see on our facebook page, we received word yesterday that the birthmom ended up choosing a different couple. Although we would have been thrilled to be matched again, especially with twins, we knew that the risk for this situation was high and we were slightly relieved that the door on that opportunity was closed so gracefully. We have been seriously considering a different form of adoption, and the sense of relief we felt at the end of this possibility really gave us confidence to move forward with our other option - Embryo Adoption. :) Below is a video blog with the whole scoop. :)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
TWINS??!
Ok, I finally have an adoption update! woohoo! :) Our social worker contacted us regarding a special out of state situation. Our agency has another office in Kentucky, and there is a birthmom there that we might be a good fit for. She is due at the end of July with TWINS - a boy and a girl! We were soooo excited to hear that we could possibly be matched with two babies at the same time, what a blessing that would be!
Unfortunately, there is also a down side. In California, when a birthmom signs away her rights, it's pretty much a done deal within 24 hours. In Kentucky, the law gives both birthparents 110 days to change their minds about the adoption. So it is possible that we get matched, bring the babies home, and have to give them back after a few months.
Although this is a huge risk, we gave the ok for our profile to be shown to this birthmom. We are one of two couples being considered by her right now. Our profile was shown to her this past Wednesday, and we are hoping to hear back from the agency tomorrow (Monday). Our prayer right now is that, if this birthmom is going to change her mind once the babies are born, that the Lord would just not even allow us to get chosen. We're asking that the Lord to spare us from the possible heartache. We are excited and yet nervous at the same time. Please pray for peace, wisdom, and trust in the Lord as we wait for Him to lead us forward, or close this door for us. Thank you all!
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