Monday, December 26, 2011

2 Years


I want to be a mom really bad. But you know, even if that doesn’t happen this upcoming year or the one after that, I’m still going to be an incredibly happy woman simply because I’m your wife. Being married to you has been, and will continue to be, my greatest joy in this life. I am so grateful for your gracious understanding and constant affection. You have never given me a reason to question or doubt how much you cherish me, inside and out. Infertility or not, these have been the best two years ever. You have made my life so wonderful and I am crazy in love with you sweetheart. :) Happy anniversary! 

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas!

The Christmas story starts with the pregnancies of two special women - an older infertile woman named Elizabeth, and a virgin girl named Mary (Luke 1). Of all things to tell us about the birth of Jesus, God chose to start out with work He did in the bodies of two women, who by all accounts, were not supposed to be pregnant. Isn’t this interesting?? The Lord is so thoughtful to include these little details in His word! My Father, the Miracle Worker, is just as powerful now as He was then. I am so thankful that He sent Jesus into the world, so that He would eventually die an awful death and bear the full weight of God’s wrath in my place. Praise God for His goodness and grace! Merry Christmas everyone!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Here we go!

You know when you're sitting on a roller coaster just before the first big drop, and you kinda wonder if you're going to regret getting on it? That's kinda what I feel like right now. The weightiness of this process hit me pretty hard last week as I anticipated the start of our in vitro cycle. I felt kind of depressed about it to tell you the truth. I'm glad that we're moving forward. I'm glad that we're whipping out the big guns and giving this our best shot. But at the same time, I'm also feeling kind of sad that we have to do this, and I'm scared that it's not going to work. I know a few women who have done IVF in the past few months and none of them ended up pregnant. Naturally that puts a damper on things, and  makes an already anxiety filled, uncomfortable process seem so...daunting. Right now, the anticipation of a failed cycle, is so much greater than the hope and excitement of it possibly, maybe, actually working. I hope that feeling goes away as I get into the hussle and bussle of appointments and meds. 

I got to touch base with my IVF coordinator this morning. I start on birth control pills tomorrow. It seems odd, I know. But it will bring my hormone levels down so that Dr. Q is in control of my cycle and can raise and lower my hormones as he needs to. I'll be on those till the first week in January, when I'll start on actual meds for a couple weeks, followed by the egg retrieval and fertilization, and (God willing) three days later, transfer our em-babies into my ute, and wait to see if they implanted. That is our plan, but of course, each step is up to the Lord and I don't know what He has up His sleeves for us. So in the meantime, I'm gonna take a deep breath, pray, put on a happy face, and sing along with Journey at the top of my lungs. 

hahaha :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Catching up

Hello friends. It's been a while hasn't it? There are a few random things I've been up to, none of which are long enough to write a full post about, so here's a chaotic sort of summary. :)

Thanksgiving was wonderful! We did dinner at my brother & sister in law's house, and she made the best turkey I've ever had. Actually, I'd be willing to say that the whole meal was probably the best Thanksgiving feast I've ever had. It was a great family night of eating, chatting, laughing, and mercilessly beating the guys at Monopoly cards. muah ah ahhh. ;) 

Our long weekend continued with the Five Families get together. And what are the Five Families you will ask? Well, we are the result of what happens when you grow up and fall in love at the same church. A picture explains it much better than words could. See me there at the bottom in the stripes? If you work your way around the circle clockwise, Ryan is next to me, and his sister Meghan is next to him, followed by her husband Jordan, who is followed by his sister Ayla, who's husband is next to her and also happens to be named Jordan. Jordan's brother is Aaron, and Aaron is married to Krista, who's sister is Kimi, who's husband is Mike, who - what are the odds - is my brother. Sibling, spouse, sibling, spouse, etc. And the best part is that we're all friends, AND our parents are friends! So yeah, we've done a few holiday get togethers since we've all gotten connected. It's pretty glorious. 

On the infertility front, we were able to save our goal for IVF, so we are moving forward with that in about two weeks. yay! eek! gah! I'm looking forward to the possible results at the end of this process, but I gotta be honest, I'm not looking forward to everything I'll have to do in between. It's been so nice to just kick back and not think about what cycle day I'm on, or requesting time off of work for doctor's appointments, or having to give myself injections. ::sigh:: But all that jazz will be well worth it if I get to see a positive pregnancy test in January, so here's hoping! :)

I bought my very first Christmas ornaments for our first tree today and I'm uber excited about it. We were moving last Christmas, and got married the year before, so we haven't been able to get a tree yet. Anyway, getting some of the basic stuff was  a lot more of a process than I thought it would be. Mainly because I had no concept of how many ornaments I would need to fill up our tree, and I didn't know how many strands of lights to get for it, and then you have to choose a nice topper for it, and decide on the colors to go with. All the while, passing by wreaths and table cloths and other holiday home decor that you feel like you really should have. lol. But I managed to walk out of the store with just the essentials. I'm so looking forward to putting everything together. :)

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough for one post. I'll check back in soon. Till then, enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my festive new blog look. :)