Wow, what a day. Such a mix of emotions. I was feeling anxious throughout the day at work- super ready to get the IUI over with. 2:20pm finally hit, and as I started cleaning up my desk and getting ready to leave, I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. I have been pretty good emotionally throughout my last couple treatment cycles. I'm comfortable with my doctor, and I was totally ready to go to the next stage of aggression with this IUI. But it dawned on me at that moment, that my husband and I cannot make a baby in the privacy of our own home the way most couples do. I was about to lay on a white table, in an all too familiar white room with my legs in the air, while a doctor put a catheter up my hoo ha. Then I have to wait another few weeks to see if it actually worked, or if I have to go through it again. Getting pregnant the ol' fashioned way seems like such a distant luxury now. One that I think a lot of people take for granted. I cried the whole way there.
But after a long hug, a prayer with Ryan, and a few encouraging text messages, I walked into that office with a smile on my face. Dr. Q had a hard time getting the catheter in, so that part was a bit painful. I'm glad that Ryan was able to be in there with me. Once the cath was in place, Dr. Q put the ultrasound camera in so that we could see the sperm go into my ute, which was pretty cool. :) We've got an army of 56 million in there as we speak! woohoo! :)
I'm feeling pretty good right now. Just crampy and a little tired. I'm happy that it's over and I get to relax at home with Ryan. ::sigh of relief:: I cannot thank you all enough for the amount of love and encouragement you continue to pour out on us. We're so blessed to have such a wonderful group of cheerleaders and prayer warriors. :)
Whew, what a little warrior you are! I'm tearing up here reading about your disappointment that you can't experience creating this little miracle privately with just you and Ryan, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. But I praise God that we have the technology and ability to take things up a notch. What a blessing! I thought of you all day my friend, and I pray that the Lord will bless you with a little bundle of screaming joy, and soon! ;) Until then, I'll be praying for you every day and I'm here if you need anything :) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteAwww, Denay! I am shedding tears as I read this because I obviously can't imagine how you feel, but know that you are loved and prayed for. I had no idea until today about the journey you and Ryan have been on, and am so thankful that you are willing to share! You are so right...there are lots of people that struggle with this, and I am thankful you have helped me understand a bit more how to be more encouraging and prayerful! Can't wait to hear more!
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