Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Hangin in there...

Finding out that our second IVF didn't work, was initially a bit easier than Ryan and I thought it would be. We had our short time of grieving Thursday and then we moved on. It was definitely not as hard to take as the first one; we were able to enjoy our weekend and not really think about infertility. I thought I was fine. But my period really started flowin on Monday night and hit me with reality again - all that remains of my two perfect embryos are painful cramps and toilet bowls full of blood. That was too much information, I know, but that's the truth even though it's not pretty. I know down to the very core of my being that my Father is faithful and that He has such a beautiful plan for us. I know that He has not abandoned me. I just don't feel strong or optomistic right now, I feel sad and completely discouraged.

I don't think I actually told you guys that the third embie from last cycle pulled through and we were able to freeze it, which we are so thankful for. The nice thing about this cycle is that we don't have to deal with the fertilizing process since we already have an existing embryo. We're just going to thaw out that little frostie and pop him/her in my ute. I see Dr. Q this afternoon for my baseline ultrasound to make sure we're good to go, and get our plan for the next few weeks. I'll give an update tomorrow.


  1. I'm glad to see an update from you. I have been thinking of you both constantly. Yay for that third embie! I hope he is your rockstar :)

  2. Aw, Denay... your faith is so inspiring and convicting in the midst of all of this. Thanks for sharing your journey - the highs and the crushing lows too. I can't wait for the day we can celebrate your bfp!