Skewer the ovaries!

My eggs are ready to be plucked faster than Dr. Q originally anticipated - retrieval is scheduled for Monday morning!! So many good things happened today at our appointment today. I feel so relieved, and yes, maybe even a bit excited. :)

Good news #1 - At this stage in the game, I was expected to take Cetrotide, which suppresses the hormone that releases eggs from the ovaries (LH). This way we ensure that my eggs are still there for the retrieval on Monday. The down side to that, is that it shuts down my natural hormone functions. After the transfer, I would have to artificially tell my body that it's pregnant through more hormone intake, instead of letting my body take over and do what it would naturally do. Dr. Q suggested that we consider opting out of taking Cetrotide, since he is confident that the eggs will not release on their own over the weekend. This way, my body is able to handle things more naturally and I do not have to take the inter muscular shots in my butt that I've been dreading so much. We're going to supplement my progesterone levels (the hormone that sustains pregnancy) with suppositories instead of more injections. ::high fives all around!::

Good news #2 - One of the things I've been most nervous about is the actual egg retrieval. Sedated or not, the idea of Dr. Q sticking a hollow needle into my ovaries and sucking out the eggs doesn't sound like it would be a fun time. I guess I just was not sure what to expect, how painful it might be, you know? Well, I found out today that they're going to totally put me under for the retrieval! I'm getting propofol, AKA Michael Jackson Juice. woohoo!

Good news #3 - This whole time, I thought that the eggs would come out, we'd put two of them in separate pitri dishes with their sperm friends and we would wait to see what would come of it (this is called Conventional IVF). However, I learned today that Dr. Q actually uses a method called ICSI as a standard practice for his IVF patients. This is where a single sperm is actually injected into the egg, kind of forcing the fertilization to occur. Though it's not a guarantee by any means, it's an extra safeguard that we will actually have embryos to transfer into my uterus next week, and that is exciting to me. :)

Good news #4 - The walls in Dr. Q's new office are paper thin, and it took forever to get my blood drawn. Strange thing to get happy about isn't it? lol. Well, while my wonderful nurse diligently tried to find my collapsed veins, we got to hear what was going on in the room next to us. :) A couple who had successfully gotten pregnant with IVF came in to get their 6 week ultrasound. I heard the same thumping heartbeat that they were listening to, I heard them celebrate, I heard Dr. Q say "There's a second one!", I heard their excitement at the moment they found out they were having twins. I seriously wanted to open the door next and give them hugs! lol. They were blessed with the very thing that I am praying for, using the same means I'm about to. It thrilled my heart, and gave me a surge of hope that maybe this is actually going to work. :)

Anyhoo, that's the latest folks. See you on the other side of the egg retrieval! :)

Follie progress report

You know you're an infertile nerd when you burst with pride at how skillfully you can stab yourself with a syringe. I totally caught myself doing that this week. lol. I'm seriously pretty good at filling those babies up and injecting with little to no pain. Although, I do think that my belly is starting to get tired of it, I'm having a harder time finding spots that aren't already tender. Maybe I'll switch to injecting into my leg in a few days to change it up.

Like I said in my last post, I added Menopur to my nightly mix this past Sunday. My body doesn't like it very much - I automatically felt a difference. It makes me feel kinda woosy in my head all the time, and I've become somewhat...uhm...emotionally unstable. Happy, sad, irritated, hungry, tired, confused, sad again. Fun stuff, I tell ya. In all seriousness, I think I prefer being slightly psychotic over the physical discomforts that came with clomid like hot flashes and night sweats. ::shrugs:: Gotta see the bright side of things right? lol

We had our first follie check this afternoon with Dr. Q and everything is moving along great. It looks like I've got 10 follies to work with. :) I was really happy with that number. I have another couple check ups over the next few days to monitor the growth, and we anticipate my egg retrieval will be next Tuesday or Wednesday. 

The anticipation is growing a bit, but honestly I still feel pretty unattached to the whole thing. Maybe even a little un-hopeful (is that even a word?). Which I don't really see as a bad thing, because I know it's a defense mechanism for my heart and it's helping me stay relaxed for now. But next week is going to be a crazy whirlwind, and I'm not even sure how to brace myself for it. bleeeeeh. Oh well. If I get overwhelmed, I'm going to fully adhere to my life motto -

*teehee* :)

Let the stimming begin!

I've decided that injections are like my annoying sidekick. I don't really want to deal with them, but I know I can't defeat infertility without them. Oh well. At least they're a familiar part of the journey by now. My baseline ultrasound went well this afternoon, so we're good to move forward with ovary stimulation. I started  with 300 IUs of Bravelle today (four vials). My dosage gets a little lower next week, but I'll be adding Menopur to my nightly cocktail at that point. I also found out that the oral pill I'm taking alongside my injections, Dexamethasone, is a steroid that will make me hungry on a regular basis and possibly give me insomnia. So if I turn into a fat zombie with the emotions of a psychotic cat this month, you'll know why. Consider yourself warned. ;)

2 Years

Babe,

I want to be a mom really bad. But you know, even if that doesn’t happen this upcoming year or the one after that, I’m still going to be an incredibly happy woman simply because I’m your wife. Being married to you has been, and will continue to be, my greatest joy in this life. I am so grateful for your gracious understanding and constant affection. You have never given me a reason to question or doubt how much you cherish me, inside and out. Infertility or not, these have been the best two years ever. You have made my life so wonderful and I am crazy in love with you sweetheart. :) Happy anniversary! 

Merry Christmas!

The Christmas story starts with the pregnancies of two special women - an older infertile woman named Elizabeth, and a virgin girl named Mary (Luke 1). Of all things to tell us about the birth of Jesus, God chose to start out with work He did in the bodies of two women, who by all accounts, were not supposed to be pregnant. Isn’t this interesting?? The Lord is so thoughtful to include these little details in His word! My Father, the Miracle Worker, is just as powerful now as He was then. I am so thankful that He sent Jesus into the world, so that He would eventually die an awful death and bear the full weight of God’s wrath in my place. Praise God for His goodness and grace! Merry Christmas everyone!

Here we go!

You know when you're sitting on a roller coaster just before the first big drop, and you kinda wonder if you're going to regret getting on it? That's kinda what I feel like right now. The weightiness of this process hit me pretty hard last week as I anticipated the start of our in vitro cycle. I felt kind of depressed about it to tell you the truth. I'm glad that we're moving forward. I'm glad that we're whipping out the big guns and giving this our best shot. But at the same time, I'm also feeling kind of sad that we have to do this, and I'm scared that it's not going to work. I know a few women who have done IVF in the past few months and none of them ended up pregnant. Naturally that puts a damper on things, and  makes an already anxiety filled, uncomfortable process seem so...daunting. Right now, the anticipation of a failed cycle, is so much greater than the hope and excitement of it possibly, maybe, actually working. I hope that feeling goes away as I get into the hussle and bussle of appointments and meds. 

I got to touch base with my IVF coordinator this morning. I start on birth control pills tomorrow. It seems odd, I know. But it will bring my hormone levels down so that Dr. Q is in control of my cycle and can raise and lower my hormones as he needs to. I'll be on those till the first week in January, when I'll start on actual meds for a couple weeks, followed by the egg retrieval and fertilization, and (God willing) three days later, transfer our em-babies into my ute, and wait to see if they implanted. That is our plan, but of course, each step is up to the Lord and I don't know what He has up His sleeves for us. So in the meantime, I'm gonna take a deep breath, pray, put on a happy face, and sing along with Journey at the top of my lungs. 

hahaha :)

Catching up

Hello friends. It's been a while hasn't it? There are a few random things I've been up to, none of which are long enough to write a full post about, so here's a chaotic sort of summary. :)

Thanksgiving was wonderful! We did dinner at my brother & sister in law's house, and she made the best turkey I've ever had. Actually, I'd be willing to say that the whole meal was probably the best Thanksgiving feast I've ever had. It was a great family night of eating, chatting, laughing, and mercilessly beating the guys at Monopoly cards. muah ah ahhh. ;) 

Our long weekend continued with the Five Families get together. And what are the Five Families you will ask? Well, we are the result of what happens when you grow up and fall in love at the same church. A picture explains it much better than words could. See me there at the bottom in the stripes? If you work your way around the circle clockwise, Ryan is next to me, and his sister Meghan is next to him, followed by her husband Jordan, who is followed by his sister Ayla, who's husband is next to her and also happens to be named Jordan. Jordan's brother is Aaron, and Aaron is married to Krista, who's sister is Kimi, who's husband is Mike, who - what are the odds - is my brother. Sibling, spouse, sibling, spouse, etc. And the best part is that we're all friends, AND our parents are friends! So yeah, we've done a few holiday get togethers since we've all gotten connected. It's pretty glorious. 

On the infertility front, we were able to save our goal for IVF, so we are moving forward with that in about two weeks. yay! eek! gah! I'm looking forward to the possible results at the end of this process, but I gotta be honest, I'm not looking forward to everything I'll have to do in between. It's been so nice to just kick back and not think about what cycle day I'm on, or requesting time off of work for doctor's appointments, or having to give myself injections. ::sigh:: But all that jazz will be well worth it if I get to see a positive pregnancy test in January, so here's hoping! :)

I bought my very first Christmas ornaments for our first tree today and I'm uber excited about it. We were moving last Christmas, and got married the year before, so we haven't been able to get a tree yet. Anyway, getting some of the basic stuff was  a lot more of a process than I thought it would be. Mainly because I had no concept of how many ornaments I would need to fill up our tree, and I didn't know how many strands of lights to get for it, and then you have to choose a nice topper for it, and decide on the colors to go with. All the while, passing by wreaths and table cloths and other holiday home decor that you feel like you really should have. lol. But I managed to walk out of the store with just the essentials. I'm so looking forward to putting everything together. :)

Ok, I think I've rambled on enough for one post. I'll check back in soon. Till then, enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my festive new blog look. :)