Mother's Day #2

This is the second Mother's Day that I will participate in as an actual mom. :) And my oh my, this holiday looks very different than it used to. Elias brought my dreams of motherhood to life. He is sunshine to my day, the constant recipient of my kisses, the source of noise in our otherwise quiet home, and the other little man that I am called to serve day in and day out. I know that my learnings in motherhood are just beginning. I am merely skimming the surface of lessons that I will continue to grasp more of as time goes on. But I am growing as a person, and we are growing as a family unit, and it just lights up my heart. Ryan and Elias are my greatest earthly blessings and nothing brings me more joy than doing life with them. 

And yet alongside all of the wonderful feelings and thankfulness that I have while looking forward  to Mother's Day, I still can't help but think back to where I've been. I vividly remember smiling and nodding at awkward comments at church, swallowing hard as the moms in the congregation stood while I sat, and barely making it to the car in time to cry. The unfulfilled longing of my heart would just hit me like a punch in the gut and come flowing out of my eyes. I have a beautiful son now, I am pregnant with a surprise miracle, and yet I still remember all the hard things about Mother's Day.

I came across this article a while back. I'm sure that many of you have already seen it. Rereading it again this week just made me think about how infertile women are not the only ones who hurt on Mother's Day. Women remember their miscarriages, mourn for children that they've lost, struggle over broken family relationships, grieve the loss of their own mothers, the list goes on and on. If you find yourself hurting in any way tomorrow, just know that you're in my heart. Whether it is a seasonal trial or years of heartache that doesn't have an end in sight, you don't need to feel guilty for being sad. I guarantee that there are other women out there who feel the way you do, and it's ok to cry if you need to.

1 Year

Elias turned 1 last Monday. My baby is year old. I was going back and forth this past week, trying to decide if I just do a normal monthly post as I've been doing, or if I get hard core mushy gushy about how amazing this year has been for us. I think I'm going to save my gush for a Mother's Day post. So for now, we'll just stick to the facts. :)

The major development this month has been his desire to stand as much as possible and walk along furniture. He is not stable enough to stand without support, but I'm sure we'll get there the next month or so. :) He's learning new sounds to jabber with and and we can tell that he is trying to communicate more and more. Sign language has been so much fun! He started applying signs like "All done" to different contexts than after mealtime, like when he wants to get off the changing table or out of his carseat. lol. Just the last couple days he has been trying to tell me when he's ready for a nap. How awesome is that?? We just love watching him learn and tell us what he wants even though he's quite a ways from speaking. We're adding signs a little bit at a time and hope that he continues to pick it up as we stay consistent with it.

Here are some pictures of month 12!!

I had to take a peek at his 1 month pictures to compare. Look how much he's grown!!

He puts his toys on the ottoman now, so that he can stand while he's playing. :)

Easter Sunday at church

Checking out his findings from the Easter egg hunt at Grandma's house. :)

Playing with the remnants of his Easter basket. 

Joining in a 3rd trimester bump shot with Mom. He's got quite a seat to sit on these days. lol

Shuffling across the living room with his walker toy. 

Playing drums with Daddy. 

He was so happy to have everyone sing happy birthday to him at his party. :)

A little reading session with his new book. 

The three of us are kinda crazy about each other. <3

2nd Trimester Recap

Well folks, we've hit the 3rd trimester! This pregnancy is going by so fast! 2nd trimester was good to me. :) A few weeks in, the fatigue and food aversions that I was feeling at the beginning of the pregnancy went away. Aaaaand that's when I kind of turned into a ravenous teenage boy. lol. 

I was in a constant state of being hungry. Seriously - constant. That has *thankfully* subsided a bit over the last few weeks. I still snack throughout the day, but I don't feel like I have an unquenchable appetite anymore. :) 

My belly is in major growth mode these days. :) It's so much fun. I love that Nolan is big enough to point out where he's at in my belly and feel him kick around in there. I feel him move throughout the day, but he is most active in the evening after dinner. Ryan felt his first kicks from the outside at 22 weeks which was a cool moment. :) I'm just now starting to actually see the movement on my belly, and I'm so excited for more of that. 

Let's see, what else...I'm getting plenty of rest even though I've had to adjust to sleeping on my side and I'm getting up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. :) Heartburn has become a daily thing, so I'm hopeful that the little guy is growing a nice head of hair. Elias is starting to get harder to chase around since he's getting more mobile and heavier as I'm getting bigger and...less agile. haha. But I'm happy that he keeps me moving, I think it's good for me. Overall, I'm feeling great and still loving every minute of pregnancy. I'm truly thankful that God is giving me the opportunity to go through this. <3 

I know I've already posted the first picture below, but I thought it would be a nice comparison. :) So this is me at 13 weeks, which was the start of my second trimester. 

And here I am last Sunday at 28 weeks- start of the third trimester. :)

It's Done! :)

Elias' adoption is complete! I gotta admit, Ryan and I were both a little nervous yesterday leading up to the hearing. Not sure why. It just felt like a big day. I sat in the backseat with Elias on the way to the courthouse so that I could feed him. It reminded me of the day we brought him home from the hospital, when I sat in the backseat just to be able to look at him. I remembered how surreal it felt to finally be a mom after everything we'd been through. And there I was, 11 months later, feeding a handsome little boy with a cheesy grin, and only an hour or two away from the adoption being complete. Then the pregnancy hormones took over and the weight of finalization day oozed out of my eyes in tears. :')

The actual proceeding itself was somewhat anticlimactic. lol. The judge was fine, but didn't exactly seem enthusiastic about life in general. I was kinda hoping that he would make it special, but no such luck. We signed a document, agreed that we will raise Elias as our own blood, and then took some pictures. And of course the one time I want our little goober to be all smiles for the camera, he's a hot mess, ready for a bottle and nap. Anyway, that was it! 

Happy boy on our way to the courthouse.

Walking the halls with Grandma

Waiting for the judge

Signing the final documents

Family photo. Elias melt down. lol. 

Ryan and I are so thankful for our biggest cheerleaders and supporters - our family! But also for all of you who have been along on the journey with us. God has blessed and abundantly provided for every aspect of Elias' adoption. We're very happy to have it all done and official. Elias was always meant for us, and now it's just formally written on paper. <3

11 Months

Elias is 11 months old and oh my goodness, this boy is pure personality. He loves making us laugh, flirting with the nursery workers at church, and chasing or being chased. It's been so much fun to see him actually interact with other kids, especially his cousins. I'm convinced that he's going to be a social butterfly. There's not a drop of shyness in him. lol

He's still army crawling, and he really likes pulling himself up to stand these days. My little explorer is into EVERYTHING. lol. He definitely keeps me busy during the day, that's for sure. Communication really improved this month which has been fun. He signs "All done", "more please", waves hi and bye, claps when we tell him he did a good job, and most recently learned how to say "uh oh". :) After a constant refusal to drink his bottles, we started transitioning over to more and more solid food. He currently eats three meals with us, and has three bottles. Bananas, apple sauce, beans, and string cheese are favorite foods so far. 

I think that's about it. Here are some pictures of month 11! :)

Pulled himself up to stand and gave us a big, proud grin. :)

I put it off as long as I could, but we finally had to transition to the big boy bath tub this month. 

Sleepy little love. He likes using his stuffed animals as pillows.

Happy boy at the dinner table! We like eating and laughing together. :)

This face is one of his favorite ways to make us laugh. He's such a cheeseball. 

Enjoying a little family getaway in San Diego.

Snuggles with Mom!

First pool trip of the year. He LOVED splashing around. This summer is going to be a lot of fun!

Elias' Finalization

WE FINALLY HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!!! Elias' adoption will be officially complete on March 30th!!

After Elias was born, we needed to have a handful of post-placement visits with our agency (per CA state law) before we could finalize. Those visits were a pleasure to do since we always enjoy seeing our friends at Nightlight. :) We completed that process back in November, and have since been waiting for all the necessary documentation on the adoption to get filed so that we could get a court date. 

Even though Elias has been entrusted to us from day one, and the birth family's rights have already been terminated, the adoption finalization is when the judge legally declares us as Elias' parents. He will be issued a new birth certificate with our names on it, and we can move forward with any other legal documentation for him like getting a SSN, passport, etc. It officially marks the end of all the adoption stuff and we are sooooo excited to have it all done. 

10 Months

Double digits! How did this happen so fast?? Elias sprouted 4 teeth this month!! So there were more moody days, but I feel like this round of teething was more tolerable than the last one. He is still army crawling around the house and has gotten much faster. He gets up on his knees and rocks around, but not really anything beyond that. He's trying to pull on things and climb a little bit. We have so enjoyed watching Elias become getting much more responsive and interactive. He reaches out to be held, looks in our eyes while he babbles, seems to understand the concept of being "chased" and rough-housing with daddy. :) We've noticed that he mainly uses his left hand when he's eating and picking things up, so we're wondering if he will keep that up and be a lefty. 

From a character training standpoint, we've definitely given Elias specific no-nos around the house. He clearly understands and responds when we tell him not to do something. :) I'm trying to be more intentional about using sign language and repetitious words with him, especially at mealtime. I want to give him tools for communicating without fussing for more food. So far, the only sign that he actually repeats back to me is "all done". I don't think he understands what it means yet, but it's a start! :)

Relaxing with mom. <3

Our happy boy. :)

Off for an evening walk with Daddy. He was pretty excited. haha.

Some days, the only way I am able to get ready is with this goober crawling all over me and grabbing at my makeup. lol

Had a great check up with our pediatrician this month. I was proud to hear that Elias is exceptionally friendly and social for his age. yay! :)

He still gets so excited about bath time. I may have a little too much fun playing with his hair. ;)