Thursday, July 26, 2012

I'm Still Infertile

I've been thinking a lot about infertility this week. I have reflected our IVF days and mentally relived finding out we were pregnant, and the devastation of losing our little baby two short weeks later. I had a good cry about it last night with Ryan. And this morning I looked at pictures of the little embryos that God blessed us with earlier this year. 
Babies 1 and 2
Babies 3 and 4
And Baby 5, the little trooper that hung on the longest  

Switching gears from treatment to adoption lifted so much stress and constant discouragement off of my heart. I am soooo excited to start actually moving forward now that we've picked an agency. But I'm also still infertile. And I think it's ok to be sad and cry about that from time to time, even if it springs up on me in the middle of adoption excitement.

I don't know how long our adoption process will take, but it could be another couple years before God gives us a baby to bring home. I am resting in the fact that He has given us strength thus far. I know that He will supply grace to us to get through whatever wait He has in mind for our family in the future. <3


  1. Amen. It's hard, and moving forward with adoption is equally difficult. We'll always struggle with being "infertile." Thinking about you, Denay. =)

  2. I've been wanting to post a comment on your blog because of your strong witness for the Lord during this time- you have been such an encouragement to me :) I found out in January, after a year of trying to get pregnant,that I may not be able to carry anymore children due to complications with Samuel. Though I may never feel the heartache you do of wanting a biological child, I do know the heartbreak and struggle of wanting something so bad and praying that God would grant you that desire, and in both of our cases, it's children. We are trying to save up for adoption because for now, though my hope has not weakened from the Lord still opening my womb, we see that as our greatest option. I will keep you and Ryan in my thoughts & prayers and it excites me as I see you two on your journey in one day following in the adoption process. :)

  3. I have adopted three kids after going through year of IF as well as doing IVF, like you. It DOES get easier but you might always have those IF feelings in the back. It softens. :) You will be a parent regardless of how your child comes to you. Once he or she gets here, it doesn't matter what route they took. ;)