I've decided that injections are like my annoying sidekick. I don't really want to deal with them, but I know I can't defeat infertility without them. Oh well. At least they're a familiar part of the journey by now. My baseline ultrasound went well this afternoon, so we're good to move forward with ovary stimulation. I started with 300 IUs of Bravelle today (four vials). My dosage gets a little lower next week, but I'll be adding Menopur to my nightly cocktail at that point. I also found out that the oral pill I'm taking alongside my injections, Dexamethasone, is a steroid that will make me hungry on a regular basis and possibly give me insomnia. So if I turn into a fat zombie with the emotions of a psychotic cat this month, you'll know why. Consider yourself warned. ;)
I want to be a mom really bad. But you know, even if that doesn’t happen this upcoming year or the one after that, I’m still going to be an incredibly happy woman simply because I’m your wife. Being married to you has been, and will continue to be, my greatest joy in this life. I am so grateful for your gracious understanding and constant affection. You have never given me a reason to question or doubt how much you cherish me, inside and out. Infertility or not, these have been the best two years ever. You have made my life so wonderful and I am crazy in love with you sweetheart. :) Happy anniversary!
The Christmas story starts with the pregnancies of two special women - an older infertile woman named Elizabeth, and a virgin girl named Mary (Luke 1). Of all things to tell us about the birth of Jesus, God chose to start out with work He did in the bodies of two women, who by all accounts, were not supposed to be pregnant. Isn’t this interesting?? The Lord is so thoughtful to include these little details in His word! My Father, the Miracle Worker, is just as powerful now as He was then. I am so thankful that He sent Jesus into the world, so that He would eventually die an awful death and bear the full weight of God’s wrath in my place. Praise God for His goodness and grace! Merry Christmas everyone!
You know when you're sitting on a roller coaster just before the first big drop, and you kinda wonder if you're going to regret getting on it? That's kinda what I feel like right now. The weightiness of this process hit me pretty hard last week as I anticipated the start of our in vitro cycle. I felt kind of depressed about it to tell you the truth. I'm glad that we're moving forward. I'm glad that we're whipping out the big guns and giving this our best shot. But at the same time, I'm also feeling kind of sad that we have to do this, and I'm scared that it's not going to work. I know a few women who have done IVF in the past few months and none of them ended up pregnant. Naturally that puts a damper on things, and makes an already anxiety filled, uncomfortable process seem so...daunting. Right now, the anticipation of a failed cycle, is so much greater than the hope and excitement of it possibly, maybe, actually working. I hope that feeling goes away as I get into the hussle and bussle of appointments and meds.
I got to touch base with my IVF coordinator this morning. I start on birth control pills tomorrow. It seems odd, I know. But it will bring my hormone levels down so that Dr. Q is in control of my cycle and can raise and lower my hormones as he needs to. I'll be on those till the first week in January, when I'll start on actual meds for a couple weeks, followed by the egg retrieval and fertilization, and (God willing) three days later, transfer our em-babies into my ute, and wait to see if they implanted. That is our plan, but of course, each step is up to the Lord and I don't know what He has up His sleeves for us. So in the meantime, I'm gonna take a deep breath, pray, put on a happy face, and sing along with Journey at the top of my lungs.
Hello friends. It's been a while hasn't it? There are a few random things I've been up to, none of which are long enough to write a full post about, so here's a chaotic sort of summary. :)
Thanksgiving was wonderful! We did dinner at my brother & sister in law's house, and she made the best turkey I've ever had. Actually, I'd be willing to say that the whole meal was probably the best Thanksgiving feast I've ever had. It was a great family night of eating, chatting, laughing, and mercilessly beating the guys at Monopoly cards. muah ah ahhh. ;)
Our long weekend continued with the Five Families get together. And what are the Five Families you will ask? Well, we are the result of what happens when you grow up and fall in love at the same church. A picture explains it much better than words could. See me there at the bottom in the stripes? If you work your way around the circle clockwise, Ryan is next to me, and his sister Meghan is next to him, followed by her husband Jordan, who is followed by his sister Ayla, who's husband is next to her and also happens to be named Jordan. Jordan's brother is Aaron, and Aaron is married to Krista, who's sister is Kimi, who's husband is Mike, who - what are the odds - is my brother. Sibling, spouse, sibling, spouse, etc. And the best part is that we're all friends, AND our parents are friends! So yeah, we've done a few holiday get togethers since we've all gotten connected. It's pretty glorious.
On the infertility front, we were able to save our goal for IVF, so we are moving forward with that in about two weeks. yay! eek! gah! I'm looking forward to the possible results at the end of this process, but I gotta be honest, I'm not looking forward to everything I'll have to do in between. It's been so nice to just kick back and not think about what cycle day I'm on, or requesting time off of work for doctor's appointments, or having to give myself injections. ::sigh:: But all that jazz will be well worth it if I get to see a positive pregnancy test in January, so here's hoping! :)
I bought my very first Christmas ornaments for our first tree today and I'm uber excited about it. We were moving last Christmas, and got married the year before, so we haven't been able to get a tree yet. Anyway, getting some of the basic stuff was a lot more of a process than I thought it would be. Mainly because I had no concept of how many ornaments I would need to fill up our tree, and I didn't know how many strands of lights to get for it, and then you have to choose a nice topper for it, and decide on the colors to go with. All the while, passing by wreaths and table cloths and other holiday home decor that you feel like you really should have. lol. But I managed to walk out of the store with just the essentials. I'm so looking forward to putting everything together. :)
Ok, I think I've rambled on enough for one post. I'll check back in soon. Till then, enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my festive new blog look. :)
There are two things that I distinctly remember about Thanksgiving as a kid. 1) I didn't like any of the food. Horrific, I know. Yes the girl who lights up at the sight, smell, or thought of food, was at one point quite a picky eater. lol. My family will never let me live down the legendary Thanksgiving meal of bread, butter, and 7Up. ::covers face in shame:: So yeah, that's one thing. 2) My parents did a great job of making Thanksgiving special. On Thanksgiving evening, my parents would whip out champagne glasses, Martinelli's, and candles for a "romantic" night of toasting. We would go around the table and each of us would say something that we were thankful for and then we'd toast. And we'd keep going as long as there was still cider on the table. I want to do this with our kids one day. It's just good to have a tradition of reflecting on what God has done for us.
Here it goes folks, in a chaotic sort of nutshell. I am thankful for late night cuddles, movie marathons, constant kisses, silly laughter, and comfort food in the back room with my best friend and love of my life. I'm thankful for all of the shirts that I've stained with tear soaked mascara, because they remind me of the husband that has held me through so many nights of heartache this year. I'm thankful for the medical help that is available to us through the battle of infertility, and for the ability to afford treatment. I'm thankful for colored walls and picture frames in the house that God has so graciously given to us. I'm thankful for love, understanding, and wisdom from my parents. I'm thankful that I get to see my brother and sister in law every Sunday, even if we don't have time to talk very much. I'm thankful for little grins, raspberries, chubby legs, and girly sighs from my beautiful niece. I'm thankful that marriage has made me a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, and cousin to the wonderful family that I've been added to. I'm thankful for the friends who have become family; the Friday night dinners, ridiculously blunt conversations, laughing till it hurts, and tearful hugs when things aren't as great as we'd like. I'm thankful for a pastor who loves us, a building to worship in, and the nursery kids who always decide to cry at the same time. :) I'm thankful that the King of all Kings chose to adopt me into His family. I'm thankful that He loves me more than I can even imagine. I'm thankful that He is persistently molding and chipping away at me, to make me the Godly woman He wants me to be (even if I try to talk Him out of it sometimes. *teehee*). I'm thankful that there is a purpose in all the struggles of life. I'm thankful that He is somehow allowing me, a broken person in a broken world, to give Him glory. I could to on and on, but let me wrap it up by just saying, praise God for all of His blessings, and the hardships that are blessings in disguise. He is so good and faithful to me. Cheers!
Well Ryan and I looked at what we've saved so far, and have projected that we should be able to move forward with IVF at the end of December if all goes according to plan. I'm a little aprehensive that our savings plan will actually be what we want it to be as we get into the gift giving season and holiday festivities, but we're hopeful. lol. :) On the flip side, I'm very happy that even though we will have taken a break for three cycles before being able to do IVF, it's during the busiest time of the year. The time is totally flying by, and we're continuing to add stuff to our calendar so I know that the end of the year will be here before we know it.
December tends to be a big month for us. We got married the day after Christmas in 2009. In 2010, we moved into our house the week before Christmas. And here we are in 2011, probably starting in vitro around Christmas. I guess it's only fitting. I don't think we realized the full ramifications of getting married during the holidays. We kind of set ourselves up to always have big things going on in year increments. lol. But whatevs. I would definitley rather do it around Christmas than wait till January. :) So that's where we're at folks, just wanted to give you an update on our progress.
